in her own creepy world, there's a girl there's a girl.

today was a great day.

absolutely nothing of any interest happened.

i however, did buy jazz's and helen's presents.

so i now have presents for, helena, felix,india, jazz and helen.

wicked. only, my dad, frances, emily & tiff left.

i'm going to be poor.

ALSO.

i came home, and helena had used loadsa my stuff from MY bathroom.

sorry but if they're not yours... you don't use them right? or you ask.

she used my bubble bath (which is actually millie joe's... but she doesn't like baths.) and my facial scrub stuff.

that pissed me off. and she messed it up.

I DONT LIKE MESS.

god sake. i text my dad and he told me to calm down hah :)

highlight of my day.

now i'm off to enter my stuff onto ucas. lush.

anything else happen? nope, i took a cool photo of me thou...

it's not you. it's me.

i'm feeling in such a crappy mood.

i've been like this constantly lately.

up & down. some up days and some down days, it always when i seem to be at home. or on my own...

i'm feel so lonely right now, i swear i'm getting depressed. it's bloody ridiculous.

i just want to curl up into a ball and sleep.. or cry.

it's stupid.

Dad & Frances have finally booked their wedding...

two weeks ago. i found out yesturday, not even from my dad..

from frances. my dad "forgot."

this doesn't make me feel great at all.

he told my sister last week, and even his friend who lives in shropshire.

I LIVE IN THIS HOUSE.

and the fact that frances told me... instead of my own dad.

i'm not even happy about the whole marriage thing.

thanks. & if you read this, don't get pissed with me, you didn't even tell me.

i'm just pretty much down about everything right now.

chloe messaged me on facebook saying "when you get this text me :)"

i just text her saying .. you messaged me...?

i'm gonna guess that she doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

pah.

and ... has deleted me off facebook? i dunno how i feel about that tbh.

i saw him today, it was weird. seeing as i havent seen him since august.

also! i just went onto ucas to sort out my qualifications etc.
it wouldn't let me log in. i tried it a million times.
pah.
i give up.

the only good thing that's come out of today is that my dad bought me an advent calender..
which is a build your own one, a lolly one. in which you have to take a lolly out everyday. :)

i need my hair cut & dyed.

sorted bruv.

so today i finally come to the conclusions of all conclusions of which uni's i want to go to...

• 
  
  leicester DMU.. even thou when i saw it at the open day at college i asked where lie-chester was...
  
  
  
• 
  
  northampton.
  
  
  
• 
  
  worcester.
  
  
  
• 
  
  bath spa.
  
  
  
• 
  
  winchester
  
  
  

i like the chesters. haha. the top three, are my top three :) i cba to go to interviews thou, that's the downer of being an art student. but i guess then you get to meet some of the tutors :)

anyway...

the weather was crap today, and i'm feeling lonely. also you can forget what i said in my last blog, i think i was high or something.

and you can also not pay attention to what tiff and jazz have been saying all day. they're full of b.s

so i'm currently sat on my bed, typing this, thinking i should really do some work. but writing a blog is far better than doing any sort of art! i might thou, i've barely done any of my birdbook... uh ohh.

i really need to get some 6 sheet card too. but do i have any money?! NO.

damn life. i'm gonna go to the bank weds and transfer some from my savings. so i can have at least another driving lesson before my test.

excitement.

i have to take another £50 out tomo for my lesson weds. i'm hoping i still have that in there... somewhere. haha

on another higher happier note :) december's going to be such a good month!... here is for why..

• 
  
  27th nov, oxford w/ college then off to nandos :)
  
  
  
• 
  
  28th nov, i'm thinking i might ask jazz if she fancies coming over... i need something to do so i don't sound sad when people ask me at work what i did, when all i've done is sat at home reading... or worse.. sleeping.
  
  
  
• 
  
  30th nov, pay day!! :) not that that's any use i'm putting most of it towards driving or xmas presents.
  
  
  
• 
  
  5th dec, out with work for our christmas do to que pasa.! then out in ox after :)
  
  
  
• 
  
  12th dec, out for georgie's birthday, howev, me and hannah don't know many ppl, so we'll prob just end up drinking by ourselves haha
  
  
  
• 
  
  13th dec, my sister comes home :)
  
  
  
• 
  
  18th dec finish college! whoooppp. and i think i'm babysitting. so more money money
  
  
  
• 
  
  24th dec, hayley's birthday, so out to wallingford for it :) whooop :)
  
  
  
• 
  
  25th dec. christmas dayyy!
  
  
  
• 
  
  blah blah need more stuff...
  
  
  
• 
  
  31st dec, new yearss eveee. me and joose need to sort out sorta partyy going dowwnn :)
  
  
  

so therefore i am happy, and looking forward to this month.

it's doubtful this year i'm going to have someone for new years. i think that's going to be a bit weird.. :| thinking of last year. i hate it sometimes.

i really like how you can decorate your blog as if it's a statement for your myspace profile. it takes me back! i miss myspace haha, i haven't had it for... since march. you do the math.

i have nothing else to report apart from my loneliness inside me right now...

i say that as if i've had a miscarriage.

LOL

i remembered!

i had a really weird dream the other night, i swear i was on something! haha
so i thought i'd share it with you bloggers ;)

so basically, i was stood in a car park behind my new house... (not actually my house thou)
when this massive cat comes up to me, it was literally the same height as me, if not taller.
it's come from an orphanage down the road and  it's black and is covered in multicoloured spots.
which i find totally normal in my dream.
it starts licking my face, so i'm like "oh okay, so let's see who you are then.." and i look at his collar, his name is michael. haha :)
in another part of my dream. lee ryan from blue is watching me pee.... haha


also, jazz decided that my cat's name isn't jigsaw, it's kite, as it turned her head when jazz said kite... haha :)

so it's been a while my friend.

i can never be bothered to write a blog anymore. probably cause i can never actually be bothered to turn my laptop on anymore. only when i need to charge my ipod.
pah.
anyway, lots of things have happened here's a little recap of all the things i can remember happeneing...

• half term.. went up to my sisters, got extremely drunk, had to spend the night propped up by the wall in the club. fell over, scratched my new pink heels... haha i dont like pink anyway... but damn life!
• halloween.. had a few people over, went to jades, got drunk, chloe came in screaming, had a go at me and jade, i went home, chloe had trashed my house. i've pretty much only just moved in. and then she went round saying we were all doing drugs... what the fuuuck?! that's the end of the friendship.
• college. boring as per usual. still behind on work... caught up now thou :)
• can't remember....
• went to northampton uni. loved it. saw two v. fit guys. daaaamn. defo first choice :)
• SUCCESSFULLY SOLD A DVD ON EBAY. for £2. but OHWEELL :D
• went and saw fourth kind with jazz. good film, but strange... hah and that night i woke up at half 3. (everyone was waking up at that time in the film... and then got abducted.)
• um um. got pushed off tiff's bed by her loving boyfriend. cut my leg. i can't kneel :(
• got a blockbusters card.
• rented "tormented" and "role models" with jazz.
• went to work after two weeks off.

and that's pretty much me all caught up! :D yaayyy.
my dad etc have finally forgiven me about what she who should not be named did. even thou it was veryy hardly at all my fault. never forgiven and forgotten. v. angry! still haha

today i went back to work after two weeks off. was weird. cause i'm not used to working, but at least it was a short shift. i forgot to ask my dep for more hours. i'll do that saturday!
anyway, we've got these new chrimbo temps in atm. one girl is called alexandra, but she wants people to call her sasha. what ever floats her boat. and jammy. he's cool. made me laaarff today.
i bought some new socks cause i've officially run out as of yesturday. so thought i should.
drove home. i haven't driven my car in so long it felt so weird. went and practised some manooversss. hah  i dunno how you speel that bitch. i hate reversing round corners.  i HATE it. more than hate. i LOATH.
anyway.
yeah...
i read the time travellers wife recently. in three days. how wickedd. and slightly sad am i?! haha.
it was pretty damn good. even thou it did bring tears to my eyes at the end. BUT.
the best thing in it!
it said the word boff!! oh yes my friend. after me, jazz and matthew have been obsessed with using it in random sentances. it comes up (ooh err) in my book. haha
in the context of it's real meaning... dry hump. haha
good times my friend!! aha :)

i did think of something else to write, but it's totally gone...
ohwell.
i'm so excited for my works chrimbo do :)
we're off to que pasa in Oxford, and we get our own room, with a dj, cocktails and tapas. and apparently a photographer. me and my dep were thinking of like an honours list the other day. for people to vote for. like "the most funniest, and the quietest...etc" it's gonna be so fun! i'm going to wear my new sexy shoes!!
we're off to the pub quiz next weds too. hopefully it'll be good. i can't remember if we have to pay or not thou.
ohwellll :D

i'm off to do something more productive in life :) laterrrs. x

fml fml right up the a hole.

there's too much going wrong right now....